


ill-timed confession.

by joyfuls



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Male-Female Friendship, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21863377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyfuls/pseuds/joyfuls
Summary: when dick said he's in love with you the first time, he didn't expect to do it in the hallway of his apartment, shy of entering his kitchen, and leaving you completely flabbergasted.because for one thing, you were his closest friend for years now.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 92





	ill-timed confession.

_That’s why I’m in love with you._

A simple sentence composed of seven words. A confession murmured underneath his breath that was meant for his ears. A revelation shocked you to a halt.

Dick was one step ahead of you when your footsteps came to a stop. Surprise painted his features as much as it did yours, if not more than.

“Oh,” he muttered, embarrassment added pink to his cheeks, “I said that out loud.”

Your bewildered gaze found his and confirmed his theory. What you saw in his eyes shocked you further, pushed you to shut yourself away with closed eyes. Maybe you'd find some clarity in this self-made darkness, you hoped.

Minutes passed before you could form a coherent thought.

“Like, as a friend,” you said, “right?”

Silence confused you because you didn't know what was going on in his head. Hell, you barely knew what was going through yours. The answer came eventually.

“No,” he replied, “not as a family either.”

* * *

The first image formed behind your eyelids was the sight of Dick watching you with reserved anticipation after he gave your his pieces. It did nothing to clear the clouds you had in your mind.

You couldn’t even remember what you had for breakfast, much less thinking rationally about this. You were flabbergasted, caught off-guard. Something had decided to ruin the sense of normalcy between the two of you, and you didn't know if you wanted to blame anyone at all.

Today was a day too ordinary, a day like any other.

You and Dick had planned to spend his free time together weeks before it would come. There was nothing that'd prompt this to happen, but it did, you were hanging out in his kitchen, his own apartment now that he moved out of Wayne Manor.

The chill of cold beer in your hand became forgotten while you tried to formulate any reasonable response, but you remained in your disbelief. You had to look again to see if what he said was true.

It was.

He was looking at you and then he wasn't. Hand clung on the back of his neck while he waited for you to say something, anything. He chewed on his bottom lip, wanting to disperse the nervous anxiety he was feeling while waiting for your reply.

Your reply came out in an anticlimactic despite all of his anticipations. “You're in love with me.”

You brushed past him and entered the kitchen. Your glass of beer was left propped on the counter before you wiped your hand on the side of your jeans. Dick followed you, one step behind like he always did.

“Well, I...” He chortled out a burst of laughter like it was that obvious and you just never pointed it out. _Until now._

“Since when?”

He frowned and you wondered if it was because he failed to find an answer for you or he was disappointed that you never noticed. Based on his reply, it was the former.

“I don't know,” he shrugged, digging his hands into his the pockets of his pants, “for a while now.”

“How long is a while?”

Dick left you with another silence while pondering over the thought. “Years while.”

It was bizarre to hear this from him, and if you said it came out of nowhere then it'd be a lie.

You wished there was a warning, that someone would mentally prepare you for his confession. Like Jason popping in the dead of the night telling you that Dick would accidentally slip out he loves you this morning. Maybe there'd be flowers and orchestra, something to make this occasion more momentous.

Yet, there you were, left in a position you could only describe as awkward and a passing comment so casual that you would miss under any other circumstance. 

You were at ease around him, comfortable, and somehow it felt worse to be attacked when you were vulnerable. Because you trusted him, trusted this normalcy would never change. It was a fool's wish, but you knew it now. Better late than never.

You weren't the only one with yourself exposed, he was too. Based on what you gauged from his expression, he was put on the spot as much you did. Never intended to form his feelings into audible words, not out loud, not to you, not now, not back then.

Not ever?

At least, he was taking it better than you.

You turned to face him again, digesting the previous information bits by bits. 

He looked so young without the costume, sometimes it was easy to forget everything that happened since the two of you entered adulthood. In his t-shirt and jeans, he looked almost boyish from the way he grinned bashfully under your scrutinisation.

Could you call yourself stupid for not noticing the signs sooner? You weren't that unobservant or dense, you were simply in _denial_. If you acknowledged it, you'd have to do something about it and any wrong move you made would result in irreversible damage for your friendship. You told yourself that, multiple times it rang in your mind when his eyes got too soft and his touches lingered too long.

He did very little to conceal his fondness early on when you weren't this deep in each other's companionship. But you smiled and joked back because you didn't trust him to be serious then. It was playful, teasing side of Robin's persona that stemmed from Dick and vanished in Damian. Could you trust him to be serious now?

His blatant flirting slowly vanished as the two of you grew older. Maturity reined him back when he found his affection went unanswered, you should've known that instead of thinking he outgrew his playfulness. Dick never outgrew his optimism and cheerfulness, he grew with them.

You could've understood that better than anyone instead of brushing it aside and thought nothing of it. But that'd mean admitting you knew his feelings were more than friends, and you'd dislike being wrong.

So, what now?

“I don't understand,” you willed yourself to show ignorance, at least. Some of the confusion brewing inside your mind was slipping to him now and it would only intensify when he saw the frown forming between your brows.

“What can't you understand?”

“You were with... others,” you muttered, not knowing where you were going with that statement. At least, it was getting somewhere instead of running around in circles inside your head.

Hearing your concern made him breathe out a sigh of relief. You didn’t know what he was waiting to hear, but whatever it was, your explanation was an improvement. 

“Well, I'm not anymore, am I?” He gave you a wisp of a smile. “Things didn't work out for a reason. A lot of reasons actually, but there was always the main one.”

His eyes gleamed with warmth when they met yours and you knew you had seen that look before, more than once.

You remembered seeing it one time when you came to comfort him after one of his break up, which you swore he should have been more upset about. Koriand'r was a nice girl and a great friend, but you reassured him that he’d find someone else for the long term. You fumbled with encouraging words while trying to rake your brain for something to soothe his aches.

You were too caught up in your own agenda and almost missed the glimmer in his eyes when he watched your endearing attempt at comforting him. But you saw it when you finally popped out an answer that you found fitting. He only gave you an indulgent smile and agreed with whatever you had said.

Then it repeated again, with Barbara, with Zatanna, with too many insignificant faces to name. It became a ritual between the two of you to spend time with each other after his breakup. By the third time, you couldn't help but joked that he had a bad dating track record and failed to see it was because of how he softened around you, how his eyes light up whenever you entered the room.

You always mistook it for familiar affection, but it always hid something more, much more.

“Was it me?” The words sounded condescending when you said it, but there was no other way you could go around it. A pang of guilt bit your heart when you forced yourself to face the truth: you were as responsible for his and your mutual friends' many heartaches as he was.

Now, either you continued your sitting in your ignorance, or you embraced the reality and perhaps some more. 

“No one's blaming you if that's what you're asking,” he shrugged, nonchalant now, “the only one to blame was me, I shouldn't have gone out with other people when I haven't sorted out my feelings for you. I didn't think I could either, really, you were always so close, so...”

“...immovable,” you finished his sentence for him and he didn't even feign surprise. The two of you shared the same sentiment, the one that left you both at a stalemate for years now.

He must have accepted long ago that it would be a fatal flaw, and neither of you was willing to move on from it. Then accidents happened.

You opened your mouth, then closed. Words couldn't come, even if you knew you looked like a gasping fish. It took a moment before you knew what you wanted to say, not that it made much sense in your mind.

“Then why did you go out with them? It's unfair to do that to someone when you don't feel the same.”

He sighed and you saw it in his expression. The guilt painted across his facial features now spoke no lie. “I thought that maybe if I tried to date someone else, I could get over my feelings and move on from you.”

“Loads of good that did,” you huffed as you were reminded once more of his romantic failures. “You thought I didn't feel the same?”

“I _believed_ for a long time that you could never see me the same way,” he mirrored your attitude, apparently, neither of you were willing to be the mature one. “But yes, loads of good that did, I couldn't remove you from my life even if I went to date others. Jason said we were like two annoying parasitic creatures stuck to each other.”

“Yes, the wonder of codependency,” you couldn't help but copied his smile while chiding yourself internally for allowing him to sway you into comfort again. 

Not that you could help it, he was familiar, he was _home_.

“Point was that," he said, “whoever had to deal with me for the rest of my life, had to deal with you too.”

“You made me sound like a nuisance,” you grumbled, “or an unwilling participant of your polyamory.”

“That’d never happen,” he whispered, “I don't want to give the person I love anything less than the entirety of me to them and them alone.”

“You are being awfully cheesy today.” You scoffed, trying to hide how your ears turned red after the implication kicked you square in the shin.

He had stayed single for months now, encroaching the territory of a year since his last split up. It wasn't because he didn't want another relationship, it was because he didn't need another when he had you.

You couldn't ignore the smoulder in his eyes and that his smile brightened enough that it was impossible for you to get angry at how easy affection rolled off his tongue. “It can’t be helped that you were easy to fall in love with.” 

“Gods, what’s with you today?” You punched his arm, not hard enough to hurt, but he faked a wince anyway. The dramatic flair never escaped him, and it was one of your favourite things about him. It would be one of the things you'd lose if you did this wrong too.

He was right, the two of you have been in each other's lives for so long that removing either of you would leave a bleeding wound and a huge gap where the other left. It would be impossible to recover from that, so you had to make it right, somehow. You could see it in his eyes too, the outcome he desired and the consequences of his actions might not be the same.

“Sorry, sorry!” Dick threw up his hands in defence, in case you changed your mind and punched him for real next time. “I have been holding it in for a long while.”

“You could stand holding back for a little longer,” you mumbled but the words didn't evade his notice. Not even your best effort could ignore how he lighted up.

“Does that mean—”

“Don't.” You groaned. “I still need to think. For instance, what does this mean for us?”

“I... don't know. I honestly didn't expect it to come out or asking for anything when it did.” He went quiet, giving both himself and you the space to absorb that information. “Figured I saved myself the eventual awkward and be honest, it was about time anyway. I just wanted it out there, you know. Get the weight off my shoulder.”

Your humourless chuckle rang hollow. “Am I meant to carry the weight with you now?”

“Of course not,” he whispered softly, “unless that's what you wanted.”

“I...” you paused, you didn't know what you wanted, you didn't know what to tell him, you didn't know anything. “...still need to think about it.”

He nodded. “It's fine. I'm not asking for anything, I just want you to know since it's always hard to tell with you.” His reassurance came in the form of a hand settled on your shoulder, grounding you before you gave your mind the permission to wander again. “It was going to come out sooner or later, anyway, at least, we aren't making a big deal about this.”

“Dick, I'm freaking out internally,” you deadpanned, “some of us is better at masking our emotions than the resident most beloved vigilante.”

“Hey, I worked hard to undo years of Bruce's emotional training, I'm not going to get chastised for it.” He joked, and you couldn't help but go along with it. You failed to push down your smile, but you did succeed in jabbing him in the ribs and making him jump was funnier for you.

“Well, you have to relearn some of it because Bruce would never accidentally confess like that.”

“Actually..."

Your eyes widened, the entire idea baffled you to the point where you no longer wore the previous shock anymore.

“You have to tell me about it once we sorted this out," you grabbed his bicep and shook him lightly.

“All right, all right, just swear secrecy that you won't let this comes back to him.”

You grinned. “It definitely would, but you are telling me anyway.”

Dick almost succeeded in rolling his eyes had it not for his own face betraying him and his lips curled up in a smile. It was hard to not play into your strength when you knew he couldn't say no to you. Which made it all the more important to do this right by him.

“You know you're very special to me. Even if my answer wouldn't be what you wanted, I don't want to lose you.” You knew your answer was selfish, you seldom were, but you couldn't fathom the possibility of losing him. You didn't know if you could stop the grief when that happened.

“I understand.”

The sigh you had been holding it in the whole time slipped out. “I never considered, you know, _that_. I didn't even think I was your type.”

“Funny, because my type has always been you," he winked, narrowly avoiding another punch you throw at his arm.

“ _Dick_.”

“I'm joking.” Although from the insincerity lingered in the lilt of his tone, you had a hard time believing him. “I have waited for you for years, a few more days won't hurt.”

“Days?”

He raised his eyebrows, confusion clear in his eyes. “What? Are you asking for weeks?”

“Try for _months_.”

“Ouch,” the impish grin that followed afterwards did nothing but raising your alarms, “well, if this is a test of my endurance, you should know I can last _very long_.”

“ _Grayson_.”

He winked at you again, this time even more obnoxious than the last with how many times he repeated it as if you didn't get it on the first try.

“I'm very tempted to say no.”

“Haha, don't do that you're so sexy.”

You couldn't suppress your smile when you pushed his face away from looking at you if only to stop him from making a bigger mess while you were still elbow-deep in your own. At least, you could appreciate he was trying to return back to the normal pace where you couldn't.

You didn't expect him to be the last one to tune down the mood, however.

“Just one thing,” he said, suddenly sombre.

“What is it?” You asked, turning serious when you heard the changes in his voice.

“Can we act normal until then? Even after that, whatever your answer will be,” he said, “I'll brave it like a big boy. You're important to me, I don't want something like this to get between our friendship.”

You felt relief washed over you then like a weight had been lifted from your shoulder. Turned out, you didn’t have to worry about losing him at all, because he wanted the same thing you did. The normalcy, even with the huge changes looming in the distance based on how you’ll answer. 

“Of course, you didn't even have to ask.”

“Thanks, that means a lot to me.” There was undeniable gratitude in his smile, a sense of appreciation that you could feel in your heart too. 

Dick dipped to wrap a securing arm around your shoulder, the closeness didn't weird you out despite what happened. “Now, I did promise to tell you about the time Bruce accidentally confessed.”

You gasped out in excitement. “Can I say like father like son?”

“He was more embarrassing I swear,” Dick snickered, “so it was back when I just left the manor...”

The rest of the conversation fell into a comfortable lull as the two of you moved back to his living room. As you listened to him, watched him with new light now thanks to what transpired, you couldn't help but finding yourself even fonder of him now. Your heart rate would quicken too when your hands brushed, when your gaze met, when his smile turned meaningful.

Sometimes, all it took was opening up the possibility for something to happen. Maybe, just maybe, if you had more time to think about it and watched it play out, the answer would be much more in his favour than what you both expected.

**Author's Note:**

> look who returned to her dc roots, have this incoherent fic i had in my draft for months now... i had a direction when i started this. 'had' being the keyword.


End file.
